pale-crystal:

"Your tattoos will look horrible when you’re older"

Yeah okay

dumbfricker:

larry-lovatic:

tittyfig:

tittyfig:

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

Because he only comes once a year

nO

OH MY GOD

carworu:

true friendship is going from “look at these cute shoes” to “do you like being choked sexually” in under ten minutes

boypansies:

i have some weird kinks but at least i dont wanna fuck some animated ponies

There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.
Shel Silverstein (via thinkwingman)

wankbankofamerica:

i will literally try to pet any cat i can don’t doubt me

tootsied:

you think you’re cool but you’re just room temperature

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

stunningpicture:


Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

stunningpicture:

Me (located in Iceland) and my friend (located in New Zealand) made the biggest sandwich of all time.

ven0moth:

if you knew me in 7th grade I’m sorry